Ch-ch-changes

Song: Changes by David Bowie

hello bloggiereetos

hope everyone is doing well in this fine fine change.
have just come back from piano lesson and feel slightly mollified a tmy lack of discipline. its so annoying everytime i mess up i always say to myself 'alright when i get home, i'm going to nail this piece' but as susalu something always comes up...lessons, study, escaping from study, food, phonecalls, food, feeling bad cos i ate so much food, food and staring into space.

anyway i love music and like playing it but not too keen on the slow tedious process of learning it. i want everything now...the fine slogo for today's fine  youth.

Anyways i think i'm feeling homesick. i always feel homesick during spring and early summer in egypt. the fine weathers just brings back so many memories. long walks in barna woods and hours of walking through sceninc salthill routes in late evenings. i like beauty and i like walking in places that are beautiful, i think any problem you have can be solved or at least seems less doom some when you walk along a fine forest or woods, breathing in clean crisp evening air with the smells of jessamine's and honeysuckle mingled with the earth smells of wood and damp earth that will forever be synonymous to me with Ireland.
i guess i just want to live life like i did when i was sixteen.

now i think i know why everyone is so worked up about sixteen and having sweet sixteens and wotnots. sixteen is the age where you can get as near as magical as magical comes.
you are young but not young enough to be childish and old, but not old enough to have adulthood kill your hopes and whimsical fantasies.
hopes are high as you are very ambitious and still feel you can change the world by doing something you really want to, and dream of prince charming so perfect he must be out there waiting for just you. i guess its one of the twilight zones in your life where you still want to live life to the fullest and eagerly wait opportunity to get you.

to be honest o think many people prefer sixteen to the age we are now. the twenties is too steeped in ugly grim reality to ever make life have anything substantial to hold your fancy. every time i ask some one what age you really want to go back to, most often they say sixteen or high school/ secondary school era.
anyway life is composed of stages and we evolve and change, so i guess its ok to remember the good times in the past as long as you don't become haunted by them.
Oh my God if its anything i hate more its people who ALWAYS remember the past. I'm not talking about 'Oh remember when you hid in the closet and gave Mrs. Murray the fright of her life' cue laughter type of reminsicng.
but the 'Oh my god i wish i was in high school i hate life. life was only good when we were all together in the same class and Frank wasn't gay and people still talked to me because they didn't realise what a twat head i am' cue hysterical crying.
Oh my god seriously it does my bloody head in. these are the kind of people i secretly refer to as 'haunters'.
sypthoms and signs include
Thousand yard stare
Spaced out nonreactive eyes
seeing random stuff like a cat walking then delving in to some long lost memory about the time he/she chased/killed/ate/sat on a bunch of cats
laughing at past memories then crying about them because they know it can never happen again.
still use jokes that were funny in primary school
still dress like they are in primary school
still visit their old school more then is normal and are on first name basis with all of their old teachers
rooms are filled with tatty old pictures and twenty thousand notes handed over in class ever since they could write

c'mon people i know everyone reading this is thinking of someone or some certain group who always regale about the past glory salad days at every given opportunity. we all have these 'haunters' in our life who like to remind us about the time when we wore those awful red trousers or sat on melted chocolate during break and it looked like....well use your imagination.
i know some people might give me a lot of stick and accuse me of being critical but i just think the past is for learning your past mistakes whilst the present is for living.
its good to be nostalgic but not OK to live entirely in the past and hate every single change that happened since they were in school

OK life sucks but only if you let it....don't let all these misconceptions like bad luck and inevitable circumstances get in the way of what you truly want to do.
if you want something do it and just work really hard for it....which means if i ever want to play Bach's intervention No. 13 good i should probably go and practise before i get distracted by another lesson ...or food

tooodles


xx

The beginning

Hello bloggers,

it has been quite some time since i have written.
a number of years to be exact. i began as an escape from studying stuff in med school and six years on im still using it to escape from studying.
im not good with sitting down on hours learning the relations of the stomach and wot not...i laready know what i want to do with my life and medical career path and believe me general surgery is NOT one of them.
being some hott shot doc in universtiy hospital is NOT like greys anatomy, a bit more like er but with more grit and ABSOLUTELY nothing like house who is too genius-y to be anywhere near realistic. he is however quite cocky and we as docters have quite a lot of that....arrogance,,,not cock although some people are such dickheads it may seem this way.

this is my last year in medicine and everyone around me is alllike oh my god we feel so sad we're leaving college and again im at the other pole....i want to scream and dance and sing and realy make a musical out of it...im happy i have got absolutely nothing out of college except the power to cram tonnes of information and pull amazing all nighters.
college to me has been a test of endurance...and pushing my self to the extreme limits of my toleration...to be honest i dont like most of the people in my year,,,they are all petty...most of the people who have become my closest friends are from other colleges and are older or younger the n me.
i know some people in my year may get ticked by this but i know deep down they know its the truth too, which really bothers me because i would have liked to lead an intersting college social life with good memories i could thumb over when im bored on future rainy days, but i guess as so put forth so eloquently by the rolling stones 'You cant always get what you want'...but if you try sometimes you get what you need adn thank God i have enough gumption to get what i need.

i dont have anything specific to say since the drama in my life has thankfully dwindled down but i shall keep you posted

tooodles


xxxxx